by B. R. GOWANI
In addition to the human species, over 450 species of reptiles, insects, mammals, and birds indulge in same-sex relationships. Attraction to the same sex is probably as old as life on the third rock from the sun, itself. Written history is 5,000 year-old and a testament that homosexuality has always been there; societies and cultures either accepted (such as Assyria and among Native Americans) or tolerated or punished the homosexuals. The term in use since 1996 is LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer). Some people avoid the word homosexuality due to a negative connotation associated with it. Of course, in friendly contexts the word is acceptable.
Gay people and supporters have waged struggles and are still battling to get equal rights. In Europe, it was German jurist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825-1895), who in 1867, made an unsuccessful appeal to the Congress of German Jurists in Munich to repeal the sodomy statute. Efforts by other Germans failed, too. Things changed for the worse when Adolf Hitler came to power.
It was in the 1970s that the LGBTQ Community started getting some recognition and rights in Western countries. Things have improved now; 22 countries have legalized marriage. In June of 2011, United Nations recognized LGBTQ rights, and six months later issued the UN report on human rights for this community.
On LGBTQ rights, Muslim countries fall into several categories: some countries have granted certain rights but some others have gone to the brutal extent of death penalties for gay people.
The 4th century Indian text Kamasutra had positive attitude towards the gay people; also, the ancient temples as Khajuraho and other temples have carvings of sexual acts, including gay ones. In recent times, things have not been good for the LGBTQ community. But it happens, that sometime the law takes their side in a dramatic fashion. Justice N Anand Venkatesh ordered the Indian government and states to ban the conversion therapy and to act against people trying to “cure” homosexuality after a case involving a same sex couple came to his desk.
(Justice Venkatesh himself went through psychoeducation on LGBTQ issues so the words of the judgement comes from his heart.)
Even though the Supreme Court legalized homosexuality in 2018, fear of discrimination is strong and these people continue to face discrimination.
In this atmosphere on February 11, 2022, an Indian movie Badhaai Do (Offering of Congratulations/Felicitation) was released by Junglee Films.
The film revolves around Bhumi Pednekar, a lesbian, and Rajkummar Rao, a gay man, whom destiny tied together through lavender marriage. It is a “marriage of convenience” because they were under pressure from their respective families to tie the knot. Neither family was aware of their sexual orientation, that both were attracted to people of their own gender. In this manner, they could present themselves as “normal people” while carrying on affairs with partners of their own sex.
The film has comic situations, but, it doesn’t fail to portray the dilemmas, anxieties, and fear the protagonists go through. There is a reason for that as the following paragraph from a study done on GLB youths explains it thus:
“The development of a gay, lesbian, or bisexual (GLB) sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g., ethnic and racial minorities), most GLB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom they learn about their identity and who reinforce and support that identity. Rather, GLB individuals are often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality. Because sexual identity development is a process for which GLB individuals have been unprepared and which is contextually unsupported and stigmatized, it would seem that the process would be characterized by inconsistency or incongruence among its affective, cognitive, and behavioral components, such that behavior may not always coincide with affect and/or identity.”
Margaret Rosario, Eric W. Schrimshaw, Joyce Hunter, and Lisa Braun, Sexual Identity Development among Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths: Consistency and Change Over Time (National Library of Medicine, 2006).
Although, both central characters are accepted by their families as their own, the facade of marriage couldn’t go on forever because one of the requirements of wedlock in South Asian societies is to produce children, which, as Rao’s brother-in-law explains in a crude manner is not a very complicated task. “First night, single shot, job done.”
A year into the marriage but no inflation of the belly is a cause to be worried. Rao states Pednekar is infertile so the family gets Pednekar medically examined which proves otherwise. So Rao’s widowed mother Sheeba Chaddha visits the couple to check out if they’re intimate with each other. Pednekar finds a way out of this awkward situation by informing her mother-in-law that problem is with her son; she gets a low-count of sperms report for Rao through her lab technician friend Rimjhim, played by Chum Darang, her significant other. (Darang was sharing the quarter with Pednekar and Rao but moved out to accommodate Chaddha.) Chaddha informs her family and also Pednekar’s family of this. They agree the couple could adopt a child – always been Pednekar’s dream. With that mission accomplished, Chaddha leaves. Immediately, Darang moves in. Chaddha returned because she missed the train home and (lo and behold..) discovers Pednekar and Darang in a compromising position.
All hell breaks loose. Rao’s family is mad at Pednekar — her own family follows suit. She is expecting support from her father, played by Nitesh Pandey) with whom she is close but he, though not mad, was sad as to why this had to happen to him. Rao, seeing Pednekar’s suffering and pain, and being a true friend and partner to Pednekar, declares to his family his real sexual orientation. After the initial shock was over, Rao’s mother ias the first one to accept him.
Rao and Pednekar decide to carry on the marriage facade because the law in India doesn’t permit gay people to adopt children. Both families accept them as they are. They’ll leave together pretending as husband and wife but, of course, accompanied by their gay partners.
The movie is a brilliant and brave effort by the Junglee Films. The gay issue has been handled quite sensitively, the director and writers have avoided the usual caricature of gay people. Performances by Pednekar and Rao are good. Five other characters, Seema Pahva (Rao’s aunt), Chum Darang, Loveleen Mishra (Pednekar’s mother), Sheeba Chaddha, and Gulshan Devaiah (Rao’s new friend) have done a fine job.
India is a regional power with the second biggest population in the world; its government should legalize gay marriage and thus save the LGBTQ community the trauma it passes through on a daily basis. The LGBTQ community should invite Prime Minister Modi to Khajuraho temples and ask him to hug the erotic sculptures and carvings then probably things could change — as he loves both traveling and hugging.
The movie should be promoted as it illuminates an important issue in our world.
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com