By B. R. Gowani
What was expected?
An average wedding night:
A terrified being,
Dressed in bridal clothes
Pushed into a room
Bridegroom enters
Locks the room
Command: “Undress!”
Command carried out timidly
Clockwork Orange:
“In-out, in out”
Unaware and untaught
Bride bleeds profusely
Man relieved
Proud and happy
Wife was untouched
Goes to sleep
The mutilated virgin
Now virgin no more
Spends night crying
Confused and alone
[The above incident did not take place.]
Instead what happened was the following:
Shock and Awe
Wedding night
Uninhibited bride
Walks into the room
Along with bridegroom
She is helped in shedding
Eve’s fig-leaf
She helps groom in discarding
Adam’s fig-leaf
The process begins
Bride’s ecstasy is equal
Groom is a bit uncomfortable
Seeing her pleasure
Then the gates are opened
Enters paradise
Natural blood gushes forth
Man is bloody happy
He thinks:
She is mod but intact
Few days later
Truth is revealed
It was fake Chinese blood
Not real Allah’s created blood
The paradise he entered had
other visitors too
He is mad
He feels humiliated
But now…
Egyptian men rescued
Abdul Mouti Bayoumi
A scholar at Al Azhar University
Declares death for importers
Of Chinese blood
So now every Egyptian groom’s bride
Will be as Elizabeth I!*
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com
*Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1633) played a role in emphasizing the concept of “Virgin Queen.” In 1559, a year after ascending the throne, she told the parliament: “This shall be for me sufficient that a marble stone shall declare that a Queen, having reigned such a time, lived and died a virgin.”