by B. R. GOWANI
“Kate Middleton may be a commoner, but her style resembles Princess Diana’s, at times astonishingly so.” The Daily Beast
Britain, the mother of all parliaments
which once ruled
over a quarter of the world’s population
and colonized a quarter of the earth’s total land
is also the granddaddy of royal tamashas*
King George’s 1911 Delhi Durbar,
Queen Elizabeth’s coronation,
her silver and golden jubilees,
Diana and Charles wedding
this century’s first royal spectacle is
Catherine & William’s wedding
the media has gone gaga over this tamasha
and has termed it as
“the biggest event of this century”
“the wedding of the century”
in other words
nothing of this significance will happen
in the remaining 9/10th of this century
the class reminder is ever present:
Kate is a “commoner”
her parents are from a working class;
her mother’s maternal family were
miners and laborers
William is a royal
his parents were princess and prince
his father’s maternal/paternal family
were conquerors and executioners
then there is THE central question
bothering many reporters
what is Kate going to wear?
because the gown has not been shown to the public
no one asks:
why Buckingham Palace should hold
a public exhibition of the gown?
Kate should show up at the wedding
in her big moment
in her natural state;
but even nudity is not safe from scrutiny
(actress Rachel McAdams once lamented:
“What bothers me is our culture’s obsession with nudity.
It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is.
I think this overemphasis with nudity makes actors nervous.
There’s the worry about seeing one’s body
dissected, misrepresented, played and replayed on the internet.”)
Queen, the head of the English Church
along with Archbishop of Canterbury
could have solemnized Kate and William’s marriage
without all this hoopla
and could have saved
approximately 100 million dollars of taxpayer money
but: when have the monarchs ever worried
about taxpayer money?
besides, what is the guarantee
that the marriage will not end
like that of Princes Charles and PrinceAndrew
but rest assured:
if that happens
the media will be there too
the news media is a
dating-to-divorce partner
even in on this affair is astrologer Penny Thornton
the modern day Pythia
who predicts ups and downs in life for them
but guesstimates that everything will be ok
*(tamashas is an Urdu/Hindi word for spectacles.)
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com