by B. R. GOWANI
Adam and Eve 1988, Oil on Linen, 60 x 60 In by Alex Grey IMAGE/alexgrey.com
Eve and Adam, the first woman and the first man,
lived in the Garden of Eden
where they enjoyed rainbow colored-fruits:
watermelon, apricot, mango, Kiwi, blueberry, and jamun
Eve wanted to taste the fruit of knowledge
she thought of the consequences of breaking God’s command
one day, while sitting under the Bodhi Tree
Eve got enlightened: “revolt was the solution”
she decided to eat the apple
to learn from the apple
and to know about the apple
she broke God’s command
enjoyed the forbidden fruit
Eve became cognizant of her intellectual potential
she also persuaded Adam to eat the apple
they became aware of their sexuality
Adam was attracted to Eve
but Eve developed relationship with one of the houris
Eve was also aware of Adam’s physical wants
she was kind and gentle enough to look after his needs too
Adam was very insecure
he was uncomfortable with such an arrangement
the apple-effect struck him with the idea of marriage
God was informed about Eve’s revolt and her love-affair
by one of the CIAs (Creator’s Intelligent Angels)
all hell broke loose in heaven
at the gate of the Garden of Eden
God was face to face with Eve
who was eating the apple
God was mad
he screamed and shouted at Eve
not because of Eve’s affair with the member of the same sex
(God didn’t believe in an institution of marriage
He was for cohabitation or live-in-relationship)
it was the fear of loosing control over the human specie
God was aware of this dilemma
of putting the Tree of the knowledge in Garden of Eden
at the same time
prohibiting Adam and Eve from eating from that tree
in fact, God was full of over confidence
Adam heard screams and shouting
he came there and was shocked
God took out a gun and fired at Eve
but she dodged the bullet
in self defense, she threw the apple at God
the speed and precision took its toll
it hit God’s skull and He fell down
there was blood everywhere
thus announced Eve: “God is dead”
and so ended God’s Kingdom
Eve took Adam’s hand and left the gate of Eden
after floating a while
they landed on Planet Earth
Adam proposed marriage to Eve
she didn’t believe in marriage
but Adam’s endless pleas forced Eve to agree
but she had a condition:
when she wanted a divorce, she’ll just say:
“I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you”
and they’ll be divorced
Adam accepted the condition
because nobody was around
they opted for the Gandharva Vivaha
they accepted each other
and began populating the earth
Adam and Eve had many children, sons and daughters
in the beginning, they had two two sons
Cain and Abel
and one daughter, Draupadi
pollution free environment
pesticide free food
noise free world
in such an utopian globe
children grew up disease free
as well as tension free
one day, Adam went to Eve
to ask for Draupadi‘s hand for Abel and Cain
Eve happily took her sons Abel and Cain as sons-in-law
one day, as is usual,
Cain, upon seeing Draupadi and Abel together, got jealous
he planned and carried out Abel’s murder
it was a tragic shock for the first family
Adam and Eve had many children,
plus grandchildren, great grandchildren, …
they married among themselves
some names of married/live-in couples are:
Rick Santorum and Clarence Thomas
Bobby Jindal and Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Robert Mugabe and Rush Limbaigh
Rajnath Singh and Hafiz Saeed
Sheikh Al Sudais and Pamela Geller
…
sorts of children they produced
included the dumb
who couldn’t differentiate between symbols and toys
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com