by B. R. GOWANI
Adam and Eve: a classic depiction of the biblical tale showcasing the apple as a symbol of sin. A pair of oil-on-panel paintings of Eve and Adam (completed in 1507) by German Renaissance artist Albrecht Dürer. SOURCE/Wikipedia
Once God created Eve and Adam, he ordered them not to eat from the tree of knowledge. Eve thought otherwise. She questioned Adam: “What is life without knowledge?” She opined that there should be some goal in life instead of just passing your days in the Garden of Eden. She quoted one wise angel to augment her argument: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Adam very much wanted to eat from the tree–not from the knowledge perspective–but from the appetite point of view. However, he was scared of God’s wrath and so was afraid to go against His command. Also, being a clever fellow, he knew that he’ll get the Apple without breaking any law. He was aware that Eve was fearless and rebellious. So when Eve tried to convince Adam to join her in plucking the fruit, he didn’t resist but then he didn’t initiate either. Eve plucked two Apples from the tree and gave one to Adam.
Adam ate the Apple and belched. He started making plans in his mind as to how everyday he’ll try to get as many Apples as possible and horde it in a secret place, known only to himself.
Eve ate the Apple and was lost in deep thought. She proclaimed: “The command forbidding the fruit of knowledge is a way to keep us in ignorance, so that we don’t revolt against the Kingdom’s corrupt and rotten system.”
The only thing Adam heard was “rotten” and so he said: “The Apple is fresh, it’s not rotten. It can be preserved for a week or so”
GBI (God’s Bureau of Intelligence) informed God about Eve’s disobedience. All Hell broke loose in Paradise.
Eve and Adam were thrown out of Paradise, Earthadise became their home. They had differences over many issues. One of them was the fruit Apple. For quite some time there had been a serious tension in the air as to where to grow Apples: Eve was in favor of growing them locally, where as Adam favored growing them in foreign land.
One day Adam offered an Apple to Eve. She refused and opted for the Apple grown in their neighborhood.
Eve: Tell me Adam, what’s the real reason for growing Apples in foreign land and then transporting them over here.
Adam: I’ve told you before. I feel bad for foreign land’s economy. My sole purpose is to create some jobs over there.
Eve: At the expense of our children? You know they’re jobless.
Adam: We get more Apples when we grow in foreign land than if we grow it locally. It’s cost effective.
Eve: Cost effective? Or to be accurate, more profitable?
Adam: It’s not the correct way to see things.
Eve: Then please show me the correct way.
Adam: My motto is: Produce globally, consume locally.
Eve: Isn’t our land part of this globe?
Adam: It is. But I also have to see that there is no conflict of interest. My business ethic dictates: Living and producing in the same area is a conflict of interest.
Eve: Your ethic is as fucked up as you are.
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B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com