by IBLEES
There are certain groups of people who will endeavour, on a daily basis, to explain to you what the fundamental problem with this country is. Using catchy titles they will goad you into believing their articles offer the best and most insightful perspective on whatever is transpiring on a national level. This is another such piece.
The fundamental problem with this country is that there are too many Op-eds. If Pakistan were a math problem, we would now have an infinite amount of proposed solutions to it, which is the same as having no solution at all, as anything divided by infinity is zero.
It is a medically proven fact that Op-eds give people ulcers. What happened to the good old days when somebody wearing a uniform told you how things were, instead of people with no credible authority telling you how they aren’t. You can blame democracy. I do.
Bad things only happen so that columnists may write Op-eds about them. Before the advent of newspapers there were no terrorists, no sectarian divide, nothing was on the brink, nobody was at a crossroads; the insidious Op-ed writers have invented all these things to scare us under our beds, like parents who tell their children ghost stories because they don’t want them wandering around in the dark lest they flip the light switch at an inappropriate time.
Below, I will list some of the major culprits of Op-edism.
Progressives/Liberals. By far the biggest offenders. They will start a piece off by asking questions of conventional and conservative wisdom. They will then answer these questions with more questions, and those more questions with vague, confusing statements that might as well have been questions. Once they have questioned everything, they will forget what they had started to write about, throw in a paragraph criticizing the military and conclude with a random quotation from a prominent liberal thinker. Like Noam Chomsky. Or Yoda.
Iblees for more
(Thanks to Robin Khundkar)