by B. R. GOWANI
Transliteration and a rough translation (with notes) of a beautiful Pakistani song in Punjabi sung by Yashal Shahid. Her highly sorrowful and powerful voice conveys the grief of desertion by her lover. She has composed the above version herself.
The song is written by Sibtain Khalid who composed its music, and sang this song in March, 2017.
Tere dhoke ne (lyrics)
tere dhoke ne sajnA meiN nu mAr mookAya / meiN mar te gayiAN phir sAh kiyooN ae AyA
jag nu ravAyA, meiN tenu hasAyA / phir vi pale kuchh nayuN AyA
teri yAdAN sahAre meiN jee te lavAN gi / ae zehr judAee dA pee te lavAN gi
ek gham tu see ditA, sau gham Ap pAle / sab kitA see apnA tere hawAle
hoohN rAtAN nu yAdAN dee chhAve beh ke / meiN tasbih karAN terA nAN le ke
thak gaiyAN sAre meiN dukhDe seh ke / Ave gA muD ke gayA si tu keh ke
meri banjar akhyAN vich sAvan lawAyA /te mein hanjwaN di bArish vich piyAr bahAyA
tere dhoke ne sajnA meiN nu mAr mookAya / meiN mar te gayiAN phir sAh kiyooN ae AyA
Your betrayal (translation)
your betrayal has killed me, my love / I’m dead, so why am I still breathing, my love? <1>
I made the world cry but with smiles I graced you / yet, I didn’t gain anything from you <2>
with the aid of your memories, survive I will / the poison of separation too, drink I will
hundreds more I sprouted from the grief you gave / everything of mine, to you I gave <3>
at night, sitting under the shade of memories’ flame / using rosary, I recite your name
all the suffering that befell has exhausted me / you’ll return is what you had told me
my barren eyes are filled with the Saavan you brought / I let my love swept away in the tear-rainfall you brought <4>
your betrayal has killed me, my love / I’m dead, so why am I still breathing, my love?
Notes
<1> Its’ as if the person is saying: “I am a dead woman walking” — not in the sense of a prisoner being taken to be executed — but like a living corpse who has no desires or hopes. A person who is buried alive under the weight of her sweetheart’s treachery.
<2> That is, I fought and stood up against the world who was opposed to our union, to make you feel that you are not alone — you have someone by your side all the time.
<3> The grief of betrayal gave rise to many more sorrows, such as depression, loneliness, taunts and ostracism from the people I went against for you, and so on. Everything that belonged to me, including my existence, I gave it to you.
<4> The word “banjar,” common to several South Asian languages, means “infertile,” “unproductive land,” “barren,” etc. So if the barrenness has been filled with water, that is tears, the betrayed one should be thankful but that is not the case, and it shouldn’t be. I don’t know what the writer had in mind by using the word “banjar” here.
The Monsoon season lasts from June to September in the Indian subcontinent. The second month of rainfall, July 15 to August 15, is called Saavan.
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com