By Allan Tacca
On at least two occasions, we have learned from Gen. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni’s humorous assessment of himself that he is next to God. And if, like me, you have incurable doubts about the existence of God, then President Museveni must be just about the top honcho in the universe. In a manner of speaking, he is the Acting God.
It was therefore not surprising that when the Ministry of Public Service announced the new allowances for Uganda’s big public officials, those for the President were not indicated. Presumably, the President gets what he wants more or less at will; he does not need allowances in the strict sense that we would understand.
If, for instance, the President heard worrying rumours about Uganda’s milk and wanted a glass of fresh clean Rwakitura milk at an odd hour, someone at State House would make frantic telephone calls, until the relevant official in Rwakitura got hold of the First Herdsman and ensured that the latter had identified a cow that had never drank water from a dirty pond.
The cow will be milked, and (of course!) no water from a dirty pond will be added to the milk. A high speed vehicle will be availed, and in a couple of hours the President would have his milk.
If it is something less eccentric and less troublesome, like a new Gulf stream jet, the plane would be ordered – indeed one has been ordered – and the formalities examined and streamlined later.