by ROBERTA NIN FELIZ
IMAGE/DeJuanara Elizabeth Torres, under Creative Commons
So far, Yarialis Guzman, a Dominican American who identifies as Hispanic, hasn’t had a crush on a black guy. But if it happens, the shy 16-year-old sophomore at Manhattan Center for Science and Math said her parents likely won’t be happy.
“My mom would have a heart attack or she would try to force me to stop or think it over,” she said in a recent interview at her school. “My dad would just be like depressed and really sad about it. Most of the time my parents believe in the stereotypes of black boys because around the area I live in there’s a lot of black people and they see their ‘thuggish’ ways,” said Guzman, making air quotation marks to characterize her parents’ views.
Guzman’s situation is just one example of the inter-generational tensions that can arise in some Dominican American families because of inter-racial dating, a drama played out in many other previous generations of close-knit communities.
Four other Dominican girls, who go to the same school as Guzman in the Upper East Side in Harlem’s El Barrio, said they’d also face extreme disapproval from their parents if they dated teens with African ancestry.
Peyano, who is dating an African American boy now, says her parents feel like her boyfriend is a tiguere, which is another word for a “thug.”
She says her parents have never approved of her boyfriend, but that could have more to do with her choice in boyfriends since hers falls within the “bad boy” category. Still, she says her parents would be less critical if her boyfriend were Hispanic and without African ancestry.
Though the teens disagree with their parents’ sentiments, they said it can still affect their dating preferences and views of African Americans in general.
“My parents feel like [African American] people need to be more educated and less loud,” said Francheli Peyano, 17, a Bronx resident. “But my dad does believe there are some black people that are decent.”
Colorism Strikes Home
Reflecting the international skin-color bias, Peyano’s father’s side of the family has dark skin and her mother’s side is light. “My mother feels like she ruined her family because she’s light-skin and nobody in her family is dark except her kids,” said Peyano.
Peyano’s mother, Elizandra Peyano, 35, said skin color is not the primary consideration for who dates her daughter. “Decency and education” are the main factors. However, she added, skin color can be a factor. “If he’s decent and light skin, that’s a plus.”
All the girls interviewed said their parents encouraged them to date fair-skinned men or to date within the Dominican community.
Dahiana Pena, 16, said her parents would prefer her to date someone who’s Dominican, but they let her make her own decisions. But despite their leniency, she said her family still has racist views. “There’s definitely racist remarks that still remain in our culture,” she said, referring to such Spanish terms as “cocolo” and “negro” that are used to refer to African Americans.
“I feel like the white image has always been praised,” said Pena. “You can even see it when they talk about our hair. They say ‘do your hair’ when they talk about straightening it. I feel like it would just be better off if I dated someone that was Hispanic.”
These expectations are not exclusive to Dominican girls.
Women’s E News for more