Couples are spending less time on sex and more time on their PCs PHOTO
Daniela was out with friends last night. When she came home, her husband Marcos was asleep. And then she was asleep when Marcos woke up to go to work. He kissed her good morning, pulled the covers over her and grabbed his sports bag. He would be the one coming home late that day, after playing soccer and eating out with friends.
Over the last 48 hours, the couple has only spent a half-hour together. But they have chatted on the messaging application Whatsapp during this time, discussed home affairs and even told one another they missed the other. Yet neither is willing to forego their individual personal lives (soccer, girls’ night, etc.) or give up their work (both are professionally happy). Even still, perhaps theirs is a normal modern marriage.
After all, a poll conducted by consultants D’Alessio IROL shows that more than half of couples spend less than five hours a day together. That’s because couple life competes with so many other activities: being on the computer, watching television, reading — or just the need to be alone. But only 15% of poll respondents see that as a problem. Generally, they respect and enjoy the principle of separate activities during the day, while spending as much time together as possible during weekends. The mobile phone is a great ally, as 80% of couples use technology to keep in touch when obligations impede that.
“Love has to find its place, in an era when time is of the essence,” says psychoanalyst Any Krieger. “There is also the necessity of being happy. […] Today, the relationship competes with the desire for personal experiences, pleasure and the idea of self-improvement.”
Psychoanalyst Eduardo Drucaroff says couples grow into how to divide their time between individual pursuits and the life of the couple. “Choices are always relative,” he says. “These are decisions couples make in time, so each one has his or her margin of freedom that boosts individualism.”