My Wise Country Cousin on de Dems Raymond

by NAT TURNER

team Pelosi

Whoa, son! Why de hell you axin’ me ‘bout de Dems—
‘Bout de Miss Nancys, Cap’n Stenys, an’ Unca Jims?
Tolt you, dey ‘bout as crookit as dat dawg’s hine leg—
Try dem all wit a lil Tenderness—at De Heg!
Dey stealin’ monee frum de workin’ people, de poor—
Fo’ de multibillionaires makin’ endless war…

De rich congriss gettin’ Socialized Medisun—
We, de Pay, or Die Systum, dats unda de gun
“Singul Payur” Miss Nancy smirk, “boy, you git on bak—
Nothin’ on de tabul but Affordabull Cair Ak!!”
Two Buk Chuk sneer, “An de same go fo’ de Green Nu Deel—
Lobbeeist drops off de green fo’ us keepin’ it real…”

Miss Nancy laff, “Monee de mutha’s milk ob politks!”
“It’s Godfatha,” Cap’n Steny say, “de durtee triks!”
He chukal, “Naw, politks de art ob compromize…”
“Pure lip servus,” Two Buk Chuk wax,“ we cut wit lies!”
Dat Bookur boy whispur, “A lot lak sawsich makin’—
Nobody outside de factree sees how we fakin’!”

“Gang,” Miss Nancy smile, “ahm holdin’ dis big ass gabul—
Fo’ poundin’ down lak nails, de yung, unrulee rabbul…
Go on, Cap’n Steny, Whip dey asses in jes’ de right shape—
Unca Jim, lok de chamburs’ do’ so dey caint escape!”
Miss Nancy sigh, “Crew, no job hardur den Unca Jim’s—
Brow-beatin’ de newbies, an’ pettin’ de Blue Dawg Dems…

Fus day ob Congriss, Unca Jim say, “Cap’n Steny de Whip—
Y’all Blue Wave whippersnappers, don’ gib him no lip!
Hey newbies lissen up, ‘cause de Whip don’ take no mess
Lak anti-semetik tomfoolery—BDS—
An de Motown gal, de Mooselum gal, an Ms. Cortez
Will lurn Lesson #1: Do Lak Miss Nancy Sez!”

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