By The Point
The Point is in a bit of a funk. I just can’t seem to shake the urge to pepper my sentences with expletives and throw heavy objects at my computer screen whenever the letters J and Z follow each other in quick succession. Or, for that matter, the letters N, P and A.
I tried applying reason. It failed. I burnt an effigy. It left me feeling momentarily vindicated, but scorched fingertips quickly dulled my enthusiasm. Finally, I turned to the stars. For what else could explain the inexplicable?
Horoscope.com’s Monday prediction for Aries was fairly illuminating: “It’s a deceptively quiet start to a rather hectic week, so use this day to prepare. Think ahead; clear your in-tray; address any backlog; attend to the details, rather than leaving them for another day. The more you do now, the more you’ll reduce the possibility of feeling time-pressured!”
No, I’m not an Aries. But Jacob Zuma (#%*# there goes my screen) is.
THE ZUMIVERSE
In the beginning was the word; and the word was with Zuma; and the word was Zuma. Any suggestions to the contrary are part of a counter-revolutionary conspiracy.
The Gospel according to Vavi: “They were conniving… and I feel Zuma, as well as millions of workers who felt there was something untoward in the matter, have been vindicated.
The Gospel according to Phosa: “We have always said Zuma is innocent, and today it was the NPA who said it. We say to the NPA: at last you have seen the light, you have finally seen the truth. Those in the media who have been prosecuting him every day should hang their heads in shame.”
The Word of Zuma: “I do not regard myself as being above the law and no public person should be above scrutiny. In the last eight years, I did not use my position to interfere with the due course of the law… and I always presented myself in court whenever needed.
“There is no cloud. There has (sic) been allegations against me and the State has not been able to put up the case. I have not been found guilty in a court of law.”
Footnotes of a philistine: (posture check) head still surprisingly upright; definition of ‘vindicated’ — (1) to clear somebody of blame, guilt, suspicion or doubt (2) to show that somebody or something is justified or correct.
ZUMAGGEDON
Those not quite buying into the Word of Zuma (yes, the counter-revolutionaries and those hanging their heads in shame) are predicting the end of the world as we know it. Justice sacrificed on technicalities; rampant corruption; and politicians who are accountable to no one… so, just more of the same, really.
“This decision is a blow to our democracy that will be felt for years to come. The NPA, in this act, has undermined the Constitution and impoverished our judicial system, thus exposing the people of South Africa to future miscarriages of justice.” — Cope.
“It’s a shameful day in our country’s history. People must brace themselves, our justice system is crumbling. To remedy this situation the voters need to express their disgust at the polls.” — Bantu Holomisa.
“It is shocking and outrageous that the ANC’s in-fighting and power struggle has landed us in this trouble. What is even worse is the fact that it has been done with millions of rands of taxpayers’ money.” — Pieter Mulder.
“Zuma must take note that the truth is that the NPA dropped charges in spite of its assertion a few weeks ago that I had ‘a winnable case’ and also in spite of the Louis Harmse judgment, which stated that ‘a prosecution is not wrongful merely because it is brought for an improper purpose.” — Patricia de Lille.
There’s more… but it all follows pretty much the same formula.
ZUMACRACY
Between the ANC’s rewriting of history and the opposition’s declarations of righteous indignation, the week has not been entirely devoid of irony.
From Pastor Ray McCauley: “We all have a duty not to erode the integrity of the institution even when some may not agree with its decision.”
Integrity? What integrity?
“Our president has always respected the laws of this country. When he was recalled to go to court, he did so,” said Paul Mashatile. “We urge the NPA that if they want to earn our respect, they must do the right thing… let them drop the charges tomorrow.”
Erm… I’m pretty sure there was a threat in there somewhere. Somewhere between ‘if they want to earn our respect’ (who wouldn’t?) and ‘drop the charges’.
And, at a Zuma liberation celebration, ANC spokesperson Mcebisi Jonas declared triumphantly: “The people of the Eastern Cape are elated at this decision. There is excitement across the province. This decision goes very far in ensuring we have a hold of the rule of law.”
A strong hold. A firm hold. A stranglehold.
Finally, a word from the man of the moment: “My legal team was excellent. Maybe I will explain in future why I chose them to represent me. (I can hazard a guess…) I will explain when I write my book one day.”
What did I tell you? The Word of Zuma. Incidentally, it just so happens to be Mosholozi’s birthday on Sunday. Yes, that’s Easter Sunday. Try to appreciate the irony…
The Point’s monitor has been rendered useless by an angry pot plant. Feel free to share quotes from the week (which are totally and utterly unrelated to JZ) below…
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