Our Beloved Leader’s October Surprise

by B. R. GOWANI

IMAGE/The Hamilton Spectator/Duck Duck Go

November 3, 2020 is about two weeks away

OBL, that is, Our Beloved Leader

ever on top of the game

always a step ahead of all the others

something which only our Dear Leader could do

he has exhibited that trait so many times in the past

one could not afford to disbelieve his all knowing power

just one example would be suffice to prove the point

OBL knew of the COVID-19 before anyone else

I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.”

so the nation became curious/anxious/tense at the announcement

the proclamation was all over: social media, TV, radio, newspapers, …

the gist: the Beloved Leader would speak on some important issue

the prime time came and so did our Dear Beloved Leader

he also had with him four people wearing gloves and “N95 masks”

(that’s what our OBL said and we have to believe him)

the Dear Leader started his speech:

“My fellow citizens,

“You know very well that “nobody is stronger” than your Beloved Leader who just a few months back defeated the deadly Coronavirus pandemic in an amazing way. He was trying to bring back the economy to the greatest level it was before the pandemic hit the greatest country in the world.

“I was misinformed: the Coronavirus was not eliminated totally due to the failure of some lazy people assigned to deal with it. I wanted to make sure that the job was well done and so I ordered the health department people to check out that there were no more people with Coronavirus. They found out that there were some people who have contracted the disease again. Here on the stage with me are the four victims of the pandemic.

“I was very disappointed because, you know, I was looking forward to beat that Sleepy Joe so badly that he would just move to Ukraine with his family where once his corrupt son was minting money without do any work. I guess I’ll have to wait four more years for that fight. But by then, who knows, Sleepy Joe might have have gone to sleep permanently.

“Coming back, the people responsible for the negligence have all been fired. This time, as a war president, I am going to take full control to destroy our enemy, the Coronavirus. It will take some time but I promise you that the victory belongs to all of us. I’ve been winning all of my life. . . . My whole life is about winning. I always win.

“Good bye, my fellow citizens. One more thing: during the war we can’t hold elections and so it is postponed for an indefinite period of time. This will save you from inconvenience and will give you some extra time to shop.”

After the speech, our Great leader was asked about the identity of the four persons but he refused to reveal it because of “national security reasons.” Which we all understand.

In these bleak times, the postponement of the election is the best gift our Beloved Leader could give us: the October Surprise.

B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com

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