by B. R. GOWANI
Late Indian leader Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948) PHOTO/Wikimedia Commons Late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (1925-2013)
PHOTO/The Onion
On August 14 and 15 midnight in 1947, the British rule in India came to an end; with the subcontinent divided into India and Pakistan.
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (also known as “MahAtmAa” or Great Soul and “BApu” or Father) was one of the many Indian leaders who struggled to free India from the British colonial rule. Although he did not hold any official post, he exerted power openly and from background, depending on the prevailing circumstances and situation. Many politicians and members of the ruling Congress Party sought his advise. India’s first Prime Minister Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru and his Deputy Prime Minister Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel sought his intervention to resolve the differences between them. The days of Pre-Partition witnessed similar scenarios among these three. The day Gandhi died, Patel had consulted with him on a problem with Nehru who was to meet Gandhi that evening, but by then Gandhi was gone.
Gandhi was assassinated five and a half months after independence on January 30, 1948 by a Hindu fanatic who erroneously believed that Gandhi was siding with Muslims.
There is little doubt that had Gandhi not been murdered, foreign diplomats, statespersons, kings, queens, and heads of states and governments would have paid him a visit.
Assuming Gandhi did live up to 125 years of age as he had wished and had no serious medical problems, he would have met many foreign leaders. In 1983, India hosted the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in New Delhi, where the former Master was represented by Queen Elizabeth and Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. The morning after the meeting Thatcher pays a courtesy visit to Gandhi in New Delhi.
Thatcher had free-market syndrome and the only cure she preferred was privatization of whatever she could lay her hands on.
Gandhi suffered from constipation. One of his preferred treatments was daily enema administered by the ladies living or traveling with him. That day, he had his dose of enema. (He returned the favor when the ladies themselves needed enemas.)
So Gandhi, done with his morning rituals, waited in his bed to welcome Thatcher. Thatcher arrived.
THATCHER: BApu! How are you BApu? Today my life long wish has been realized. I always wanted to meet you.
GANDHI: Sister Margaret! My bones do not permit to display my feelings with the enthusiasm you show, but I hope you understand my feelings. I am doing fine.
THATCHER: Please BApu, I fully appreciate your feelings.
GANDHI: But tell me how is the Iron Lady, or should I call you the British Pearl, doing? Is your stay in this city comfortable?
THATCHER: See BApu, this is what I like about you Indians and Pakistanis. They are over-friendly and have no animosity whatsoever for our past rule over your countries.
GANDHI: Thank you! So Sister Margaret, did you have a good bowel movement this morning?
THATCHER: Life is not easy and so is not the bowel movement.
GANDHI: What is the problem? Please tell me! Is the constipation severe?
THATCHER: Yes BApu. The demand is very high but the supply is very low.
GANDHI: What is causing the problem?
THATCHER: It seems the bacterias in the intestines have formed several unions and they are blocking the distribution routes and thus the inadequate supply.
GANDHI: Do they have any genuine cause for resorting to such means?
THATCHER: BApu, I will just quote you:
“The world has enough for everyone’s need but not enough for everyone’s greed.”
GANDHI: The one great solution is an application of an enema.
THATCHER: I will only agree for that treatment if you are the one who is going to treat me.
GANDHI: Do you think I will let anyone else do the job?
THATCHER: Thank you, BApu.
B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com